When Black Friday Comes, Gonna See It Get Nasty

by Jim Washburn

They’re opening everywhere, in clean-cut communities. They attract undesirable elements, and, where order and respect for the law once prevailed, all hell breaks loose. People hopped up on the “merchandise” they just bought, or the expectation thereof, turn to violence and thuggery, and terror is the order of the day. Look out, Brother!

Even before the pumpkin pie had been fitted to the appropriate pie-holes, the blood started flowing.

Outside a Wal-Mart in bucolic San Leandro, CA, two persons were shot while resisting thieves trying to seize the goods they had fought so hard for inside the store.

At a Los Angeles Wal-Mart, a woman pepper-sprayed 20 other shoppers who were vying for Xboxes. She remains at large, perhaps quite large.

Down in friendly Kinston, North Carolina, it was Wal-Mart security who began pepper spraying shoppers who grabbed merchandise of pallets before it was ready for sale. Welcome to Wal-Mart! Try Aisle three for hot dog buns to wipe your eyes with.

In bubonic Kissimmee, Florida, at a Wal-Mart jewelry department, a shopper gave shiners to others crowding the counter, it turning into a proper donnybrook until police intervened.

Shoppers were also arrested for fighting inside Wal-Marts in munificent Milford, Connecticut and winnin’ Rome, New York.

In neighborly Myrtle Beach, South Carolina a female shopper was shot in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Noticing a trend here, are we?


Of course, Wal-Marts weren’t the only places where fights broke out—America also has violent prisons—but there were rather a lot of the chain’s stores involved.

This story has made news around the world, where people can only dream of our standard of living, while they’re working 12-hour days in factories building that standard of living for us, and this is how we behave for them? America is that shining city on the hill, the one with the huge flashing Wal-Mart sign, under which depraved goobers punch and shoot the bejesus out of each other—on this, our day of national thanks—so that a month from now we’ll have gifts to celebrate the birth of a little fella who preached peace, forbearance, charity and compassion. Go Team!



Ain’t it the sad truth… “building that standard of living for us”... “and thats how we behave”... ha!
Truly pathetic in this season of giving!

2011-11-26 by philip O'Connor

And a hohoho to those asshohoholes. I’ve managed to keep out of malls for the season for at least the last five years now and hope the record holds.
Funny how all that shit happens at Wal-Marts, that workers’ paradise making inroads into other “workers’ paradises.” True globalization has arrived: workers are being treated equally shitty all over the world, let democracy prevail.
As for “christ"mas, has anyone noticed how our “conservative Christian” aspiring leaders have kept their yaps shut about this mess.
What I don’t get is how that pepperspray rhino got away? with all those people around did anybody have the wherewithal to bag the bitch? Honestly. I am waiting for UTube tapes of “shoppers’ rage” to come about. Beats watching that freeform fighting taking place in cages. ” Attention shoppers, cameras are now on aisle 5!” Hey Dubin, stretch your canvasses. I see a new series. (no offense, I hope.)

Happy holidays.

2011-11-27 by daniella walsh

Lol…how many of us have a 1 or 2 car garage and can’t park a car In there for all the stuff?

2011-11-27 by JM

Your article perfectly shows what I nedeed to know, thanks!

2011-11-30 by Karik

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