Friday, June 15, 2012 / 3:29 pm

You Say Vagina…

The ā€˜Vā€™ Word is too much for the delicate ears of Michigan GOPers.

by Gary Phillips

All vigans, all the time.

“I have not asked you to adopt and adhere to my religious beliefs, why are you asking me to adopt yours? And finally Mr. Speaker, I'm flattered that you're all so interested in my vagina but no means no,” said Representative Lisa Brown, a Dem from West Bloomfield in Michigan.

When fellow rep Barb Byrum of Onodaga tried to speak to her vasectomy amendment coming up for a vote during this session, she was told to hush up.  The following day thje two were banned from speaking today their by the Republican controlled state house for daring to speak up or use the anatomically correct term ‘vagina.’ 

Passed was a new set of harsher regulations regarding abortions.  Including doctors would have to make funeral arrangement for a fetus if the abortion was done after ten weeks. Further, the bill would increase insurance and regulations on abortion clinics, regulate the disposal of fetal remains, prohibit the use of teleconferences to prescribe abortion medication and make it a crime to coerce a woman into having an abortion.  Another bill that would restrict abortions after 20 weeks with no exceptions for rape, incest or fetal abnormalities, was not considered.

Representative Rashida Tlaib of Detroit called on woman across Michigan to boycott men until this foolishness stopped of men invading women’s bodies.  “We’re launching a war on women,” she said. “Stop having sex with us, gentlemen, and I ask women to boycott men until they stop moving this through the House.”  Interestingly she didn’t get banned.

As a public service then the next time such a debate comes up on one of these hideous anti-choice bills, I implore brave women legislators and hopefully a few men with backbone use one of the time-worn euphemisms for ladies’ nether regions such as hoo-ha, the Big V, quim, the nappy dugout, snapper, the pink canoe, Lady Jane,  ya-ya, yum-yum or the vadge.

I thank you. 

Gary Phillips' latest is Treacherous: Grifters, Ruffians and Killers, a collection of his short stories.


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