Oklahoma Dreaming: The Veterinarian
by Donna Schoenkopf
This website is about affordable housing. I have been neglecting to preface my articles about why Oklahoma is so damned affordable. I just sort of assumed you readers out there were automatically just KNOWING, through telepathy, I guess, that I ALWAYS have affordability as the basic tenet to my stories, and that's why I moved here in the first place.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Dr. Bob.
Dr. Bob is a giant of a man. He wears cowboy boots and a cowboy shirt and jeans. He has his veterinary practice in a small building set back from Highway 9, just east of Tecumseh.
The sign is weather-beaten, so weather-beaten that I missed the turn-off the first time I tried to find it. After I made a U turn a few miles down the road, I turned back and this time searched carefully. STILL missed it. But the third time was the charm.
That building really blends.
I was taking CheGuevara, then a kitten, to be looked at.
Che was a miserable, flea-ridden, dehydrated, crazy little kitten. I had adopted him after answering an ad in the paper. He was supposed to be 8 weeks old. He wasn't. He was a little orange tabby, with third eyelids covering over half of both eyes. He had nonstop diarrhea. He was a mess. I thought he was going to die. (I have to confess here, that when I adopted Che, I whispered in his ear that if he got sick and needed a vet, I would have to have to put him to sleep because I just couldn't afford high vet bills. I soon went back on that secret promise.)
So, I unloaded him from my car, carrying him in the extra large cat carrier I had used to bring Rosie and Fidel from California, and stumbled into the office.
Two or three cats and dogs were there with their owners. A nice lady behind the desk signed me in and I was called up in a miraculous few minutes and taken to an examination room. Che was put on the stainless steel table and within a minute or two (I'm not exaggerating) Dr. Bob strode in.
I'm telling you, any woman would fall in love with Dr. Bob. First of all, he's tall and big-boned. He's friendly and capable and quick and sure. And he loves animals. Not in a sentimental kitchykitchykoo way, but in a profound way. You can just feel it.
I told him all about the Vitamin E and A and cod liver oil that I had given Che, and the baby formula (he WAS a kitten, after all), and I forget all the other stuff I had done to the poor little thing, in hopes of curing him myself. (Remember the secret promise?)
Well, I had done everything wrong. He told me that Che was having trouble digesting the milk, and that the vitamins I had given him weren't helping, in fact, might be causing more gastric distress. Dr. Bob gave me a short verbal list of instructions, which included rehydrating with children's Pedialyte and gave Che a shot and some antibiotics to take home.
I was charged $49.00.
I saw Dr. Bob again almost a year later. Che again. My kitten-turned-cat had black, crusty, oozy gunk in his ears. Tons of it. I had gone online and everything I read pointed to ear mites. I tried putting mineral oil in his ears as suggested, but no relief. I kept digging that stuff out of his ears, but it never got any better.
So back to Dr. Bob. He took a quick look in both ears and, yes, it was ear mites. He gave me a vial of ear medicine which he said I could give to my other cat, Rosie, just in case, and if I needed any more, just come by and they would give me another vial. Free.
$49.00.
I love that guy.
Next time, Diego the Dog. I had to board him because I was visiting my darling children and grandchildren in California and would be gone for a week and a day. I called some kennels in Shawnee. They were full. And they charged a lot of money.
Daughter-in-law Casey, my Official Dog Expert, suggested I contact the vets around town. She said they sometimes had kennels. (She is a FOUNT of good dog information. And wisdom.) So I called my pals at Tecumseh Veterinary. Yes, they did board dogs, $7 a day.
SEVEN DOLLARS A DAY!
Couldn't beat it with a stick.
Loaded up Diego, dropped him off. The kennel wasn't a posh place. Bare bones. (No, not LITERALLY!) Cement and cages. But, oh well, he'd live.
I got back to Oklahoma with NO money and was sweating the bail-out fee for Diego. So I called the office manager who told me not to worry, they'd hold my check. Come on and get my pooch. She even deducted a day off the charges.
It was ... $49.00
They are so nice.
Then, last week, when I got stuck in the ice and my Neighbor Guy #2, Jim, came along to help, we started talking about our animals and he told me his dog was a "dumped dog" with a huge sty in her eye when she showed up on his doorstep and he had taken her to "Bob" and, ta-da, one-two-three, it was all fixed. And cheap.
I hazarded a guess. "Are you talking about Dr. Bob at Tecumseh Veterinary?" I asked.
Yes, indeed, it was Dr. Bob.
We both agreed he was a GREAT veterinarian.
And Meredith just called and told me her toy dachshund had had her first menstrual period and her little breasts were swollen and Sugar was presently at TECUMSEH VETERINARY HOSPITAL, getting spayed.
She loves Dr. Bob, too.
Next Wednesday, Diego and Che are getting their nuts cut off by Dr. Bob.
I know I could say they are getting neutered, but I just like being a provocateur sometimes. I'm getting their nuts cut off for the following reasons:
A) Che the Cat has reached puberty. Every single cell in his orange tabby body is screaming, "I want to fuck something!" Sadly, the only thing available for him is Rosie the Cat. The spayed cat. Who doesn't like it when Che wrestles her to the floor (ALL night long!) and follows her around constantly and ANNOYS her no end!! She does kinda like it when he licks her in her ear and licks her rear end, though.
B) Diego the Dog has reached puberty. He has taken to roaming the countryside, looking for, you guessed it!, something to fuck. But we have a nasty highway a half a mile away. With a LOT of dead dogs on it. And a coyote once. And a beaver once. (That one was HUGE!) Some cats. Armadillos. Skunks. And turtles. They make me the saddest. I cry every single time.
You get the idea.
Diego, weighing at least 80 pounds, will cost $80 and Che will be $55.
Dang. It costs almost TWICE as much at the various Shawnee vets.
Just to bring in a little verification from an outside source as to the affordability AND greatness of Dr. Bob, I shall give the final anecdote to make my point.
My dear Rosalyn called a couple of days ago about her 13-year-old cat, Persimmon. She had taken Persimmon to a number of vets in California, the equivalent, she said, of the animal version of UCLA Medical Center, at great cost, and here in Oklahoma, also at great cost. Persimmon has bad teeth and it has seriously affected her health because she can't eat. Her vet, whom Rosalyn really likes because he is a fine human being, had quoted a large price and a prolonged series of interventions. So she called me because she remembered me talking about my great vet, who was very reasonably priced.
I gave her directions, making sure she would notice the sign and the building.
This morning I received an e-mail and a phone call from her.
She told me she was thrilled with Dr. Bob. She and Persimmon had shown up at the clinic just as Dr. Bob was leaving. He was on his way to deliver a calf. An emergency call. But, come on in, we'll take a look, he said.
In the twinkling of an eye, with his helper holding Persimmon's legs, Dr. Bob found a very loose tooth, pulled it out bada bing, bada bang, gave her a shot and some antibiotics. He said he might put Persimmon on a special medication after he sees her again in four days. He told Rosalyn about dry and raw food ... feed her what she likes—raw isn't so good for her mouth, but good for her overall health, while the reverse is true for dry food. (Good information for you cat owners. Straight from Dr. Bob. And free!)
Then he was out the door to go deliver that calf.
It was quick and reassuring. And really cheap, she said.
$49.00.
donna@fourstory.org
Comments
Well done! Since I work part-time for a vet, I could really relate. My vet is pretty cheap, too, according to friends who use other guys in the area. Some day he’ll probably disappoint you, but be grateful for what you’ve got at the present!
2009-02-14 by Friend Betsy
Great story, mom! I like the photos especially.
-John
2009-02-12 by John Schoenkopf